Pokémon: Story Version, Chapters 3 & 4

Chapter 3

-Rocket

It had been two days since we saw the Sneasel. The sun was high up in the sky by this point as we entered Violet City. Still following its footprints and tree markings, it looked like it was headed towards the local Pokemart. Probably to scavenge for food.

-Ben

I left my home on my way to the Pokemart where mom and dad were.

"I guess I shouldn't keep you in there too long." I said looking at my poke ball.

 I pointed it toward the ground and squeezed the pressure points on the ball letting Cindaquill out of its ball.

"Cinda!" He cried out stretching.

"Let's go then" I said with a sigh, starting to walk

"Quill." Cindaquill said, following close behind.

It wasn't a long walk so it took us about five minutes going at a slow walk, and we got there just as a few other customers got there. They all wore a sort of uniform with a black shirt and sunglasses. I walked into the mart, the guys in black shirts were perusing the selection of poke balls, medicines, treats, and other various items.

"Ben!" Called my dad from the counter, "how has your morning been son?"

"It’s been... Interesting so far, to say the least." I replied looking down toward Cindaquill who looked up at me smiling.

"And who might this be?" Asked my dad looking at Cindaquill   "Natalie, come here and look at who our son brought to the shop" he said calling to my mom who was in the back room.

She came out of the back room "Happy birthday Ben! Did Professor Elm have anything for you this morning?"

"You mean you invited him!? I thought that was Grandma!" I was genuinely surprised they had always seemed like they had accepted that I didn't want anything to do with being a trainer. I guess I was wrong.

"Honey, we know you don't want to be a trainer. We know that it scares you, but we were both trainers, and we both turned out no worse for wear than if we hadn't become trainers at all. We know that you are ready for this." She said with every ounce of motherly love available to her.

"Excuse me, can I get some help over here" one of the guys in black said. He looked different than the rest of them he wore a paperboy type hat and had a small black goatee.

I couldn't come up with a proper response all I could do was look at Cindaquill who had

started playing with some items near the counter.

-Rocket

The male store owner came over to the register "Good afternoon sir, how may I be of service to you today?" He said with a jolly tone.

"Well, my team and I need supplies but as it turns out we seem to have run out of money. Is there any way you could help us out?" I said calmly putting my hand into my pocket to grab my poke ball. Suspecting that he, like any good business man wouldn’t be able to spare any supplies. 

"Well sir," he started to say his expression falling flat. "it looks like you're out of luck. We can't just give away supplies so I guess you either have to take your team elsewhere" he said, "Or you could steal it" he added jokingly.

"That sounds like a great idea." I said holding up my poke ball "Go! Cacnea!" I said, releasing my Cacnea from its poke ball.

"Men," I called over my shoulder, "take everything they have" they all started putting everything they could in their knapsacks. I saw the two owners reaching for their pokemon, still inside their poke balls.  

"Cacnea! Pin them to the walls." I told the pokemon. “Caa" it replied as it shot pins out of its arms stapling all three to the wall; husband, wife, and child.

-Ben

Cindaquill ran off once the commotion started. One of the leader's men came up to him.

"Sir, we have all the supplies we need, and are ready to resume the search for the Sneasel."

"Good let's leave they'll get themselves down" he said, referring to those of us pinned to the wall.

"Sir!" Said a grunt, "I found this Cindaquill hiding in a corner. What should I do with it?" The leader thought for a second and then walked over to me.

"That your Cindaquill?" He asked. 

I nodded yes in reply. "Tell it to use smokescreen." He told me.

"Cindaquill, use smokescreen" I said feeling horrible. As soon as the words escaped my

mouth smoke started billowing out of the corner of the shop.

"Haha, take it and bag it as a gift to the boss for being late with the Sneasel." The leader ordered, while my heart dropped deep into my stomach.

Chapter 4:

We had to wait for the air conditioner to turn on for the smoke to clear.  It also took us that long to un-pin ourselves from the wall. When I finally got myself down I headed straight for the door.  

"Where are you going, Ben?" My mom asked.

"To get my pokemon back," I replied flatly.

"No you aren't!" my dad started saying. "Those thugs are dangerous and you could get hurt."  

"I'm in charge of that Cindaquill!  if it were to get hurt it would be on my head." I took a deep breath and continued "I don't think I could live with myself if anything happened to the little guy."

"Son, I forbid you to go after that group of criminals, I'm calling the Officer Jenny!" my dad said.

"Yes honey, let the police handle it." My mom added, clearly starting to lose her grip on the situation.

"I'm sorry mom and dad… but if you think I'm responsible enough to have a pokemon then I am able enough to save him from a bunch of thugs."

I ran south; surely they took the hidden route out of town. I could see the trees just in my line of sight through those there was a small clearing where a bunch of berries and apricorns grew. Surely they wouldn't have taken the main road out of town.

The trees were close now, and I could see the trail opening into the clearing. As I got to

the trailhead, I felt the air grow chilly and the trail seemed darker than normal, more ominous. Even if it was I had to forge onwards, for Cindaquill's sake. "I'm coming for you," I said to myself under my breath.

I stepped into the thicket watching out for poisonous plants that grew in the underbrush. After about thirty seconds I made it to the clearing with the berries. The air was frigid by now.  There was definitely something wrong with this, it was June.  The air here should be hot and humid not freezing and dry. And that's when I saw it or rather... Them.

There were a dozen of them surrounding the bush of berries most of them weren't moving I could hear movement from the center of the group went to go see what was going on. Drawing closer I could tell that they were all the same type of pokemon they were dark colored with white claws and feet, a pink feather looking ear growing out of its head. I think I had seen one of these on T.V. Before, I think it was called a Sneasel.

I got to the group and could see that most of the group wasn’t actually pokemon at all they were just doubles that Sneasel had created using double team.  I had seen one of Copycat’s pokemon use it before.

There was something different about the actual Sneasel.  Its left claw was covered in ice that extended from its claw about three feet and tapered to a point. As I was observing it my shadow touched it, and it noticed it quickly turned around and hissed.

"Sneasel!" It hissed with venom in its voice. It held up its claw to me and hissed again. I started to back up slowly, I did not want to make this Sneasel angry. She looked like she had been through a lot. I noticed a tag on its feather a big red R-215 she was marked like a cow. I recognized the R from the thugs that stole my Cindaquill.  It could be a coincidence but I was sure that they were related.  Hadn't the leader said that they were searching for a Sneasel? 

I kept my distance and crouched down, "Hey there…" I said as calmly as I could. "Are there some guys that are following you?"

She looked confused, as if no one had ever talked to her. After a couple of seconds I realized that she didn't understand me a bit so I slowly stood up, went to a couple of surrounding bushes and got a few berries off the branches. I went back and crouched in the same place laying out the berries.

"Go on, eat them. I'm not going to hurt you." I said calmly.

Sneasel slowly approached the berries and did something well, something unexpected.

She blew on the berries, she must have used icy wind because most of the berries shriveled up and became inedible but some of the berries which I noticed were Yache berries seemed to absorb the attack and become more healthy. These berries were the ones that Sneasel ate

gladly.

 "See, I'm not so bad" I said smiling. "Now I can tell that you're special. Will you help me find the bad guys, and rescue Cindaquill?" I asked. She seemed to understand and started to nod.

"Alright then let's go." I said standing up and starting to walk.  Sneasel followed me close behind. After a couple of minutes wandering through the underbrush we made it out of the thicket and onto route 32.

A traveler was walking our way. "Excuse me sir? Have you seen a bunch of guys with black shirts with big red R's on the fronts by any chance?" I asked him.

"Umm… sure now that you mention it.   I think I remember seeing a group like that. Suspicious characters.  I think that they were headed towards the Ruins of Alph. The gate leading there is right behind us. You should be able to catch up to them in no time. Are you part of a tour group or something?" He said, speaking really fast.

"Umm, yeah I just lost my tour group. Thanks for the information.  I'd better not get too far behind!" I told him running off towards the Ruins of Alph and towards Cindaquill.

Sneasel and I got to the gate and walked through the automatic doors. "Welcome to the Ruins of Alph.  Are you with the tour group that came through here a bit ago?" I was greeted by the guard.

"Yes, I am" I answered.  “How long has it been since they came through here?" I asked the guard.

"Oh, not more than 15 minutes. They should still be getting to the main ruin just about now.  It’s just past the workshop.  You can't miss it." He answered quite helpfully.

"Thank you!" I said rushing through the other side of the gate.

The ruins were huge; I wasn't quite expecting how big they were. But I could see the workshop from where I stood and close by that, I could just catch a glimpse of a man in a black shirt entering what looked to be a large cave entrance to what I could only guess was the main ruin. 

Comments

[Max]

This story is a great read, and it has a lot of potential, but the only thing that I'm concerned about is the massive amount of grammatical errors, that at some points make the story less enjoyable. For example:

I was genuinely surprised they had always seemed like they had accepted that I didn't want anything to do with being a trainer.

Not to be a grammar police or anything, but I would have said:

I was genuinely surprised. They had always seemed like they had accepted that I didn't want anything to do with being a trainer.

If you want I can fix all of the errors for you (In chapters 1-4) and send them back to you to repost if you can. Hit me up at maxdudek@gmail.com if you're interested.

Other than that, the story's going great so far!